the nature of time, as we perceive it, is an ever-growing numerical value. 2000 turns into 2001, which eventually turns into 2002. it is elevating, ever-changing, and forever exponentiating. similarly, if we are not evolving and building upon ourselves, we are simply, by the laws of the space-time we exist in, dying. i know that sounds scary and weird, but it is literally just a logical continuation of the system in which we survive within. stagnation = decay. astrologer Demetra George, states herself in the book Astrology and the Authentic Self that "To change is to grow and live, and to cease changing is to stagnate and die" (123). the synchronicity of landing on this passage right on the same day as i'm putting this post together really hits home that i'm onto something, onto a message that i want to put forth for anyone who it might benefit. we as humans live in cycles and vibrations. fluid motions. our thought patterns, choices, beliefs, and routines all lie on a spectrum of frequency which multiply and emit, gaining momentum and strength to push us into certain ways of life. in our western world, this spiral is extremely outward-centered. we are trained, through systems at hand such as capitalism and organized religion, to often place focus upon things outside ourselves. i can't think of a single instance growing up where i was taught to observe the inner as i did the outer. conversation and fixation was always on the next thing, the need-to-have clothes, the socially-required technology, the everyone-has-to-go trip. the spiral, for most of us in similar positions, has years, decades, and often longer, of strength behind it to push it away from the Self. because not much attention is usually dedicated to the internal world, it stagnates, and therefore, gradually ceases to live. intuition becomes stale and withers. emotions are repressed until they manifest physically, literally killing us off through ailment. it's no wonder that depression and anxiety are higher now than ever - our internal selves are screaming out, wishing we would dedicate crucial time to introspection and discovery. for me personally, i always had a strange fascination with my own inner workings, and i constantly took personality quizzes online when i was young. this wasn't necessarily just to bathe in my own existence or anything like that, but as i look back now, more so for inquiry and validation. from more formal, in-depth tests like the MBTI to stupid what tv-show-character-are-you shit, i found it really fucking interesting. and i think that's why a lot of people find quizzes or tests fun in a similar way - it's information about themselves that they otherwise weren't aware of. meditation is the true essence of the spiral turned inward instead of outward. by redirecting our frequency the opposite direction, it isn't flared out or overworked in one realm. this is why meditation is so difficult at first - the path of our normal vibration is extremely rigid and hesitant to change course. however, once we make our energetic selves flexible, and therefore able to direct our movements from outward to inward when desired, the true value in meditation becomes startlingly apparent. i will write another time on how meditation has played a significant part in literally saving my life, but on a basic level, it provides answers for our wandering minds that the material world just doesn't seem to. i love stuff as much as the next person. i'm a self-proclaimed maximalist because generally, more really is more, in the sense that i value as many things as are useful to me as possible (there is a sweet spot, though. i exaggerate. my mercury is in Leo. i apologize in advance.). however, much of our questions come from a place of emotional turmoil, and stuff simply numbs out this pain so that we no longer have to deal with it for a time being. i spent years never allowing myself to truly sit in silence because to do so would mean feeling all the pain and trauma i had suppressed. i truly believe that is why things like Netflix and social media are so addicting - it's a direct hit of bypassing being with ourselves. we are all in pain to some degree; there is always something we're avoiding addressing because to deal with it would mean discomfort and struggle. however, the longer we put off facing our shadow, the more our mind malfunctions, and the more we see signals popping up to tell us we need to go inward. physical and mental stress or addiction are just some examples. i tried meditation as a last-ditch effort after literally nothing else was working to motivate me to stay alive. not an understatement. i saw someone posted about a meditation center with cool lights and music, and it was totally overpriced, but i booked a class. it was difficult to remain there without having my phone to check every ten minutes, but i did it, and the experience (i'm a total sucker for shit like nice-smelling oils) grabbed me enough to come back. gradually, my sessions spread out, and a daily practice was cultivated. i found that the thoughts popping up were undeniably difficult to truly acknowledge, be it negative self-talk or self-sabotaging beliefs, but what kept me coming back was the adventurous curiosity. each meditation was a journey within myself, identifying misconceptions i adopted at an early age to make sense of a world i deemed unwelcoming and scary. i realized that the world isn't that way - my mind was simply interpreting it as such. the more i stuck to daily practices, only ten to twenty minutes, the more i got excited about the huge breakthroughs i'd made. it know it sounds strange, and i heard similar stories and didn't think much of them until i really dedicated myself, honestly, just due to desperation. however, most of us are like me, and it takes hitting rock bottom before a lasting change is made. without meditation, i would not have such a strong foundational understanding for the power of observing thoughts without judgment. in diving deep within oneself, it is a safe space to examine beliefs and truly come to the roots of long thought chains that often hold us down from reaching our true potential. the western world has not cultivated a strong inward spiral for many of us, so when we take the time to reroute our vibration, it is incredibly empowering. the faster our frequencies begin to move, with instantaneous technologies and everything at an arm's reach or even the click of a finger, the slow, deep resonance of meditation is incredibly vital. the world within is just as exciting as the world around. x
